A Defensive Attitude Comes Across as an Attack

Have you ever felt verbally “attacked” by someone right after making a statement and wondered “What brought that on?”.  You had no malicious intent but the response from the person you were addressing was harsh, angry, or violent.  You may think, “They’re mean”.

This probably happens more often than we acknowledge.  It causes stress in the workplace or even at home if the ones you are speaking to react in a seemingly hateful way during a simple conversation.  It’s hard to be around someone like that, let alone live in the same family as that person.

What causes a person to be like that?  It’s simple…It’s Attitude.  But what caused that attitude?  It more than likely didn’t happen overnight; It developed over time.  It came about over years as that person grew, having Thoughts and Feelings from what they experienced and learned.

If the person had bad experiences with no real, caring love, it would be hard for that person to feel loved and cared for or even respected.  Those people cannot show or give love because they have not received love.  Their “emotional” cup is empty, there’s nothing for them to give when it comes to giving others love.

What those people feel is a sense of not being loved cared for.  They were not adequately nurtured.  What they do feel is attacked making them constantly “on guard”.  They are protecting their emotions/feelings.  Unfortunately, they, inappropriately “rise up” in defense for fear of being hurt emotionally.  They are on guard to avoid being attacked and their harsh words or response is due to them protecting themselves.

This does not make their behavior right or acceptable, but it helps us to understand, it is not us they are attacking.  These people need their cups to be healed.  Have you ever heard someone like that say, “I feel drained”?  They are drained and tired, both physically and emotionally because they expend a lot of energy to be “on guard” and protective of their character they feel is under attack.  They Perceive they are being attacked.  Their attitude is one of Defense.

Behavior is an expression of one’s attitude.  Attitude is developed by Thoughts and Feelings.  Physical health can also influence thoughts and feelings.  A good spiritual relationship with God the father who Never Fails us and always loves us is foundational.  Our relationship with God, must be incorporated into our thoughts and feelings and our bodies to be most effective.

This takes time.  We need to understand other’s behavior can be changed but with patience and God’s help and our understanding.  We don’t condone bad behavior and sometimes there is consequences.  We need to have a heart and mind like God so we can forebear and forgive others and help them heal.  Love…Pass it on.